


Emotions

by Jace_Diaz_Of_Hell



Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: BUT THAT FAILED UTTERLY, ok so this character was supposed to be badass and emotionless, shes a big mama yeerk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-05 05:42:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11007174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jace_Diaz_Of_Hell/pseuds/Jace_Diaz_Of_Hell





	Emotions

Her name was Ahris 473.

 

She was a yeerk. She lived to serve the empire and fight the andalite filth.

 

In the beginning it was that simple.

 

She had been one of the first grubs to have their yeerk parents spawn in space. Her group of siblings was actually fairly small, and she was the youngest of them.

 

She was closest to Ahris 386, which was fortunate. He was the only one in her sibling group to survive the Quantum Virus.

 

Her first host was a female hork-bajir named Bel Kanath, which was how Ahris 473 was given her gender.

 

Bel Kanath was a young mother. Her child was a boy named Zhan Kanath, and in Bel's words, “he is different.”

 

Zhan was what the hork-bajir called a seer. They believed he was sent from the sky to lead their people in times of danger. The only other seer known was Dak Hamee, who was wanted for crimes against the Empire. While the hork-bajir thought that the seers were from the divine, Ahris 473 tried to explain the truth to Bel- that her son was a valuable genetic anomaly.

 

Bel wasn't 'different', however, and didn't understand.

 

As strange and improper as it was, Ahris 473 and Bel formed a friendship. They shared a mutual pride and affection for the child Zhan. Ahris 473 was able to teach Zhan more than any hork-bajir could have, and Bel had a tendency to be brutally honest right when Ahris 473 needed it.

 

When the time was right, Bel Kanath and Ahris 473 chose the yeerk for Zhan. The yeerk was Nirrin 262, a recently spawned yeerk. He was kinder than most yeerks were to their hosts, and pleased to have a host mind that could have proper conversation with him. Nirrin 262 was also fond of Ahris 473 and sometimes jokingly called her “mother” while they were working together.

 

Though Ahris 473 would never admit it, she loved it when he did. It made her feel... warm, inside.

 

They worked side by side day and night. When Aldrea- Iskillion-Falan and Dak Hamee attacked, she made sure Zhan and Nirrin 262 were by her side. It was their first battle.

 

Keeping the child by her side didn't make any difference. They were forced apart on the battlefield. Ahris 473 watched helplessly as a nameless hork-bajir killed the yeerk and the child she had come to regard as her own.

 

Bel Kanath screamed then, a wordless and unending scream of pain that was echoed in how Ahris 473 felt. She let out a guttural war cry and charged into the field, and everything after that was a blur.

 

Bel Kanath was killed in that battle, cut almost in half. They kept her alive just long enough to extract Ahris 473.

 

One day, yeerks would communicate with her palp-to-palp, transmitting memories of an angry controller charging through the field, a whirlwind of blades and fury. She had killed many of the free hork-bajir that day before her body was taken down by Aldrea herself.

 

Strangely enough, Ahris 473 was glad for the short time she spent hostless. It was strange to feel grief. The fact that she didn't have a body or sight or hearing was a welcome chance to remind herself.

 

She was a yeerk. It was not her job to nurture and love. Getting too close could mean getting hurt.

 

Her next host was an infertile hork-bajir named Shir Ka. Ahris 473 didn't form a friendship with this host, as she had with Bel Kanath. Shir Ka fought her as hard as the hork-bajir could, and Ahris 473 crushed her mind time and time again.

 

She was pulled out of the field after the Quantum Virus killed everyone in the Ahris sibling cell except for her and her brother, Ahris 386. She was given the job of helping train the young yeerks.

 

It was a job she enjoyed, in all honesty. The younger generations were smart and eager to serve the empire. They listened to Ahris 473's every order and grew close to her, calling her “mom” and “mother” when they thought she couldn't hear them.

 

Ahris 473 always pretended not to hear them. It was easier than admitting to herself that she cared.

 

After their first battles, the young yeerks would come to her. She would hold them as they sobbed, grief-stricken with the loss of their siblings and the horror of battle.

 

Ahris 473 always told them sternly it was what was expected of them, and that the losses they suffered were necessary to provide their eventual victory.

 

But in her voice there was always sympathy, a soft cadence of _it will be worth it some day._

 

When the invasion of the hork-bajir people was over, and the alliance with the taxxon homeworld made, they began their assault on Earth.

 

Shir Ka was old by then and so, when she died, Ahris 473 applied for a new host and a new position. She didn't care what position she was given, she added, just that it would better help her serve the Empire. As for the host, Ahris 473 requested human.

 

And although she couldn't openly state the preference, she prayed she wouldn't be assigned a host with a child. She had proven to herself that she was too susceptible to children, too likely to become close to them.

 

One earth month later, her assignment came in. She was to be Visser Three's new aide. She was excited and, she had to admit, a little apprehensive. She certainly admired Visser Three- he was ambitious, smart, and loyal to the Empire- everything a yeerk should be. However, she knew of his temper. The last aides to Visser Three had all been executed in rapid succession.

 

Then she was transported to the underground part of the Sharing facility. A voluntary host had been found for her, a female called McKenzie Thomas.

 

When Ahris 473 infested her she was surprised to find how small a human's ear canal was compared to a hork-bajir's. She made sure to inject the human's ear canal with painkillers as she worked deeper in, wrapping herself around the lobes.

 

First she got control of the basic functions- walking, speech, eyesight, and hearing. When asked to present herself, she straightened and saluted.

 

“Ahris four-seven-three.” She said calmly. “I believe I'm the Visser's new aide.”

 

The sub-visser in front of her looked sleepily amused.

 

“His new aide? I wonder how long you'll last.” Said the sub-visser, echoing her exact thoughts. “The Visser is in his Blade Ship at the moment. You will join him the next time he docks.”

 

Ahris 473 nodded again and was dismissed. She turned and left the doors, and only then did she tap into the host's memories.

 

_Ahris four-whatever-?_ Came a thought from her host.  _I know you're new to having a human, so first things first- my daughter is waiting upstairs. She's being babysat by one of the other full members._

 

It was hard not to feel dismay at this, and she shut her emotions away from McKenzie. McKenzie Thomas had a daughter. She went upstairs and used the human's mouth to form a smile, turning to the one that was apparently McKenzie's daughter.

 

“Mama's back.” She said lightly, putting on a show for anyone who was truly human. The child looked small, barely able to walk, but she toddled over as quickly as she could and _threw_ herself into McKenzie's arms.

 

Ahris 473 picked her up and settled her on her hip uncomfortably, before reaching out to shake the hand of the person that had been watching her host's daughter.

 

_Lisa. That's my Guide. She's a manager at my Walmart._

 

“Thanks for watching her, Lisa.” She said formally, holding out her hand. Lisa pulled her into a thing that humans called a “hug”.

 

“May the Kandrona shine and strengthen you.” 'Lisa' hissed in her ear. 

 

“And you too.” Ahris 473 whispered. 

 

She pulled back then, smiling as she left.

 

When she sat in the gasoline-powered vehicle McKenzie called a 'car', she accessed her host's memories.

 

_Stocking the floor at Walmart, thinking only about her child who was probably asleep by now. Feeling tears rise to her eyes because she couldn't spend as much time with the not-quite two year old as she wanted. The familiar feeling of stress because she had no idea if she could pay the bills this month. She had already had to cancel her landline._

 

_One of the managers pulling her back, a friendly face instead of a stern one._

 

“ _I know your husband was killed a year and a half ago and I heard you've been struggling lately. Care to tell me about it?”_

 

_Bursting into tears in her manager's office as she explained how stressed she was, how she might have to move out of California and back to Montana._

 

“ _You know, I'm part of an organization that helps a lot with single mothers.” The manager said. One side of her face twitched and came back under control. “It's called The Sharing. You should visit sometime.”_

 

Snap forwards.

 

“ _I want to do it. I want to join the Sharing.”_

 

“ _You understand you're giving up your free will, right?”_

 

_Becoming a slave willingly was a vile thought, but they would help. They would give her the resources she needed to support her daughter._

 

“ _I do.”_

 

“ _And you won't fight back?”_  
  
“No. I will only fight if my daughter is in danger.”

 

“ _Place your hands in these shackles here.”_

 

Snap backwards.

 

_Walking home with her husband._

 

“ _Vanessa isn't such a bad name.” He was arguing. His name was Mason. Mason Thomas, her husband. “It was my aunt's name.”_

 

“ _I know, but I'd like to name our daughter something more unique. Like Phoenix.”_

 

“ _Phoenix is a little_ too _unique.” He argued, grinning._

 

“ _Stop right there!” A man with a gun levelled right at McKenzie. She froze, her heart aching with fear. “Give me your wallet or I'll kill her.”_

 

_Mason's eyes flashed from McKenzie to the gun and back. She recognized the way they set, determined. He slowly reached a hand into his pocket._

 

“ _Hey, there's no need to-”_

 

_He cut himself off mid-sentence, throwing himself at the man with the gun. They struggled for a few brief seconds, and then the gun went off._

 

_Her husband went limp, the hole in his head leaking blood around the bullet._

 

_The man with the gun turned white as a sheet and fled, police sirens bouncing off the brick walls and echoing back to McKenzie, who was screaming. Her husband was dead at her feet._

 

_A sharp pain in her stomach and she doubled over, wheezing._

 

Snap forwards.

 

_Delivery had been so painful, but it was so worth it. Holding the tiny person in her arms and looking down at her._

 

_She had thin, brown-blonde hair. Her skin was a pale, coffee-with-cream color, and there was a tiny sprinkling of freckles on her cheeks._

 

“ _Hello, Vanessa.” She whispered, smiling. “Vanessa Rose Thomas.”_

 

Ahris 473 shook herself out of her reverie, pulling out of the parking lot and turning the radio on.

 

As she scanned back through further memories, she saw screaming matches with the host's mother, fights-mostly lost- with the host's siblings.

 

This human was emotional. Anger, sadness, joy- every emotion was almost overwhelming to Ahris 473.

 

And the Empire help her, she knew she would love it.

 

 

 


End file.
